Seasonal Traffic Suckage Syndrome leads to Shameless Tip-Jar Rattling Disorder

One of the obvious reasons for doing the changeover to the WordPress site during the holidays is that blog traffic sucks this time of year, so time spent on the changeover doesn't really subtract from the overall blog ecology. What's the point of doing a dozen posts on Christmas Day, if nobody's reading it anyway?

For similar reasons, some bloggers don't blog much on weekends -- when blog readership decreases by 30% or more -- but we've never really observed that custom here. Smitty reports that a relative paucity of Rule 2 linkage made for a much shorter FMJRA this week, which is to be expected, although we hope there won't be a similar shortage of babe-blogging for Rule 5 Sunday.

One of the things about Seasonal Traffic Suckage Syndrome (STSS) is not to take it personally. Traffic here is demonstrably down for December -- currently about 160K visits for the month, after four consecutive months of >220K -- but when compared year-to-year, we've gained about 80% over December 2008. And so you have to have a certain amount of perspective when you realize that on Christmas Day we recorded our worst weekday traffic in recent memory.

Because routine headline+link+snark formula blogging would be kind of a waste of time during the holidays, I've taken advantage of the situation to do some long-form stuff. First there was "Don't Fear the People," a retrospective on my coverage of the populist grassroots revival -- the first substantive post at the new site -- and then there was today's post about Washington's Christmas crossing of the Delaware.

Another thing to do during periods of slow traffic is to blog about totally silly stuff, like the Christmas Day arrest of celebrity scumbag Charlie Sheen. Why not? Do you really expect us to constantly monitor Memeorandum for the latest breaking news on the Nigerian terrorist? On a day when we're averaging less than 200 visits an hour?

Let's face it: We could post a completely random photo of an impressively endowed chubby chick -- hey, more to love -- and not get any complaints, because nobody's reading us this weekend anyway. (Folks, don't worry that we're corrupting your kids. If your teenage son got a computer for Christmas, do you really think he'll be cruising political blogs for chubbettes?)

Would a serious political commentator -- say, for example, Dan Collins -- link something so irresponsibly exploitative as a post with photos of random topless fat chicks? Of course he would. Because at least it's fun, and if traffic sucks anyway, you might as well have fun.

However, there are more useful things bloggers can do with the readerless holiday hours when we're afflicted with Seasonal Traffic Suckage Syndrome (STSS). Therefore, while Smitty toils away on the technical geekery of the WordPress changeover, I've been writing thank-you e-mails to the tip-jar hitters.

We're about halfway to our $2,000 goal for the Pasadena trip, which was a double-dog-dare-ya scheme promoted by Dan Collins. As I said at the time, I didn't think I could possibly rattle the tip-jar hard enough to make this trip happen and yet . . .

Well, as of yesterday, 34 people had hit the tip jar for an average of $30 each during December. And today I got a Christmas card from Barbara Espinosa of American Freedom blog, with a gift incentive for the trip. I checked Travelocity and can make a flight to LAX departing next weekend for about $450 if I booked it today.

Mrs. Other McCain is, of course, worried about the bills. If I make this trip, will it clear enough cash to break even and still pay the bills? Does that 1990 photo of Mrs. Other McCain looking hot in her bikini encourage you to ease her mind with an extra $10 or $20? Would you rather see more photos of fat chicks? Is anybody actually reading this?

The point is, I can roll either way: Fat chicks, celebrity scumbags, historical inspiration, or up-to-the minute breaking news about John Kerry and other terrorists. But I don't want to have to choose between (a) paying the bills and (b) going to Pasadena to provide neutral, objective coverage of the Alabama Crimson Tide's spectacular triumph in the BCS Championship.

As I explained to one of the tip-jar hitters in an e-mail exchange, I'm planning to take a look at the tip jar situation Monday before booking my flight, probably departing Jan. 2 or 3. Every little bit will help me convince Mrs. Other McCain that this is a good idea not evidence of incipient psychosis.

Maybe you're feeling that Roll Tide spirit to the tune of $20. Or maybe you just figure it would be worth $10 to read about me racing around Southern California in a rental car, interviewing hawwwtt University of Alabama cheerleaders and buying $7 gin-and-tonics for Little Miss Attila during Happy Hour at one of her favorite L.A. dive bars.

Fear and Loathing in Pasadena could be the wildest scene since I covered the Libertarian Party national convention in Denver last year. Surely the true story of Rose Bowl decadence and debauchery has got to be worth $5 to readers who have nothing better to do this weekend than to read a political blog.

Carol at No Sheeples Here is also an Alabama fan trying to hustle her way to Pasadena, so if you've already hit my tip jar, you should think about throwing Carol some action, too. Besides, if I help her make it Pasadena, maybe I can get her to do a free logo for the new WordPress site -- with or without naked fat chicks. 'Cause I can roll either way . . .

Just hit the tip jar!

Merry Christmas!

Regular readers here know Barbara Espinosa of American Freedom blog, whom I first met in August at the Right Online conference in Pittsburgh ("Grandma Is an Angry Mob") and who was my hostess for the Orlando trip last month ("Tea Party Nation").

Barbara will probably get angry at being referred to as Mrs. Espinosa. She's a widow, and is very much in the market for a new boyfriend. She has a lively sense of humor and flirts with my 17-year-old son James, teasing me that she's going to be my daughter-in law one of these days.

The trip to Pittsburgh that was the occasion of my meeting Barbara was funded by the generosity of tip-jar hitters, whom I admittedly don't thank often enough. And, as regular readers know, we're now rattling the Pasadena tip jar to send me to cover the Jan. 7 BCS championship game between Alabama and Texas.

Hope everyone will consider this amusing video not only as a well-deserved tribute to Barbara Espinosa, a philanthropist and true patriot, but also as a thanks to all who have supported this blog.

(BTW, in the video you'll notice 17-year-old Bob stroking his chin, trying to call attention to his pathetic adolescent attempt to grow whiskers.)

Tea Parties, Harleys, and the Gipper

My latest column at The American Spectator:

Rhonda Lee Welsch has a vision. "When we go back to Washington next year, there's going be a lot of Harleys," the Florida activist said. "And those Harleys make a lot of noise."
Making noise may not seem like much of a goal to D.C. political strategists, but if thousands of thundering Harleys roll up in front of the White House as part of a national Tea Party march on Washington, Welsch's vision might make more impact than Beltway wizards imagine. . . .
A breakthrough moment, she says, was when she joined the 9/12 March on D.C. and attended a seminar on organizing led by veteran conservative fundraiser Richard Viguerie.
Welsch returned to Florida and went to work on her vision: Bike Week Freedom Rally, scheduled during late February's annual motorcycle gathering in Daytona Beach. . . . .

Please read the whole thing, to figure out how the Gipper fits into that story. You can also follow Rhonda Lee Welsch on Twitter. I met Rhonda last month when I covered the last stop of the Tea Party Express in Orlando -- see "Tea Party Nation" -- where I was the guest of Barbara Espinosa of American Freedom blog.

February in Daytona? Yeah, sounds like an important story I need to cover. But first, there's the BCS Championship game Jan. 7 in Pasadena. Hit the Pasadena tip jar.

Orlando Diary: 'Mom's going to kill us'

That's my son Jim's verdict about the enviable poshness of our existence here at the Hilton International Resort in Orlando.

I've got an excuse. I'm here to cover the final stop of the Tea Party Express. How was I to know that Barbara Espinosa of American Freedom blog had booked us into such luxurious accommodations? My teenage son (yeah, that's him in the poolside photo) is spending the trip sprawled on the king-size bed watching the big-screen TV, or lounging around the pool and chilling in the hot tub. Me? I'm sitting here blogging, just like I'd be doing in my own basement.

Enjoy these three short videos of Jim's scuba lesson. And please tell Mrs. Other McCain we miss her!

UPDATE: Barbara corrects me: It was her friend Susan Wellington of Michigan who selected the Hilton as our Orlando headquarters. So now we know who to blame for destroying my blue-collar, low-budget blogger street-cred.

We're going to Disney World! Er, actually, no, but it's kind of in that neighborhood

As previously blogged yesterday, I've been invited by Barbara Espinosa of American Freedom blog to join her in Orlando to cover Thursday's final stop of the Tea Party Express tour.

Mrs. Other McCain has to work, so she can't make the trip, but two of my sons -- James, 16, and Jefferson, 10 -- will be coming along for the ride. Jeff was packing this afternoon and I said, "Make sure you bring a swimsuit." And he asked, "Why?" I said, "There's a pool at the hotel and besides, it's Florida. We may get a chance to go to the beach."

It's not a vacation for me, but it is for two of my six kids. And if you guessed that this is the post where I put up a picture of my cute kids and try to guilt-trip you into hitting the tip jar, you're right.

That's my wife and three youngest at a Hagerstown Suns minor-league baseball game last year. Consider this a "family values" message for aspiring bloggers. If you want to succeed in the blogosphere, it helps to have a beautiful family.

Now, please hit the tip jar. Even if we can't afford to go to Disney World, these kids are going to eat a lot of footlong hot dogs ($3), drink a lot of Slushies ($2), play Skeeball at the boardwalk arcade ($10), and demand that I stop every time we see a "Fireworks" sign at the Interstate exit ($50).

Dr. Coburn's prescription to stop the Pelosi bailout for Abortion Inc.

Brilliant:

Sen. Tom Coburn, the Oklahoma Republican who developed a close friendship with President Obama when they served together in the Senate, is threatening to have the entire health care bill read on the Senate floor. . . .
Coburn, who has a reputation for using procedural rules to block and delay legislation, has been an outspoken critic of the president’s health care overhaul. He recently told the New York Times: "My mission is to frame this health care debate in terms of the fiscal ruin of this country. . . . I have instructed my staff to clear my schedule for every minute that bill is on the floor."

(Via Memeorandum.) Meanwhile, how to stop Nancy Pelosi's crazy scheme to rush the ObamaCare bill through a House floor vote on Saturday? Barbara Espinosa links a CNS News article:

Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) told CNSNews.com on Thursday he has not reached an agreement with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and therefore he and dozens of pro-life Democrats are still poised to kill the House health care bill. Stupak has organized a group of about 40 Democrats who are committed to killing the health care bill if Pelosi (D.-Calif.) does not allow them a straight up-or-down vote on an amendment that would prohibit federal dollars from paying for any part of any health insurance plan that covers abortions. . . .

Read the rest of that and also Barbara's post at American Freedom. Pro-life groups are especially urging phone calls and e-mails to Congress from their activists who live in House districts represented by Democrats. If Pelosi can enforce discipline in her own caucus, she has enough Democrats to pass ObamaCare without a single Republican vote.

The fact that ObamaCare would amount to a federal bailout of the abortion industry has not gotten much notice in the MSM, but the pro-lifers are ready to use that as a "wedge" issue, which could really hurt Democrats with Catholic voters in 2010.

Planned Parenthood is America's largest abortion provider and gets a lot of its funding from taxpayers:

In April [2008], the annual report of Planned Parenthood Federation of America revealed that the abortion giant had a total income of $1.02 billion -- with reported profits of nearly $115 million. Taxpayers kick in more than $336 million worth of government grants and contracts at both the state and federal levels. That's a third of Planned Parenthood’s budget.

Planned Parenthood and other pro-abortion groups have been hit hard by the economic meltdown -- seems a lot of their supporters were Bernie Madoff's friends like Jeffrey Picower -- and this is one reason there is such a frantic urgency for the "public option" on the Left.

Ann Coulter has said that abortion is the sacrament of the Church of Liberalism, and the Democrats desperately fear that they're missing opportunities to kill babies because of the funding shortage caused by the bankruptcy of their Ponzi-scheming friends. So now they want to bankrupt the rest of us to bail out the baby-killers, and trying to do it secretly by sneaking through their plan on a football Saturday:

[Nancy Pelosi] is scrambling to buy off recalcitrant Democrats on two of the very issues that Rep. Joe Wilson and other House Republicans called out the White House for: abortion and illegal immigrant coverage. The wheeling and dealing is taking place behind closed doors. Once again, the Democrats who promised transparency are breaking their own promise to publish the final bill publicly 72 hours before the vote.

Fortunately, there are these things called "elections," and something called an "economy," and these two things are having an influence, which may explain why Nancy Pelosi still doesn't have enough Democratic votes to pass ObamaCare. As Pundette observes:

Some representatives are keenly aware that the jobs they save may be their own. The bad economic news combined with last week's electoral cautionary tales, unresolved hot button issues, and the sheer massiveness and cost of HR 3962 is making too many legislators queasy.

If it weren't for the encouragement Pelosi gets from unprincipled RINOs (who would vote for nuclear war so long as you called it nuclear "reform" and threw in some pork for their districts) she might have dropped the whole thing months ago.

UPDATE: According to the Washington Post, they have reached an agreement to vote on the Stupak Amendment, which is expected to pass. Smitty passes along a report that the House may not vote until Tuesday.