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The release of Call of Duty Black Ops has got us thinking all army here at Passy's World. So this week we are taking a funny look at all things army.
So open up that turret hatch and have a good look around at this week's funny ha ha.
First up here is a classic Black Adder clip that explains all about how World War I started. So sit up history buffs and pay close attention!
The modern day Army has been very worried about the fatness and fitness of their latest generation of soldiers:
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This has prompted the development of new fitness regimes for combat, such as the following innovative battle unit:
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In fact there is amazing new military technology being developed every day:
Image Source: http://www.uncoached.com
Check out this latest batalllion of star wars wookie snipers looking very suave in their lovely Armani gilly suits:
Image Source: http://izismile.com
Not too sure what this training is all about. Must be some kind of new tactic to totally mesmerise the enemy.
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Army Jokes
First soldier: "Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?"
Second soldier: "No way, Jose!"
First soldier: "Why not?"
Second soldier: "It's against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!"
The problem with the Iraqi army was that they were using Russian defense tactics:
1. Engage the enemy.
2. Draw him into your territory.
3. Wait until winter sets in.
Top Eight Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting
8. Military transport flights now earn you frequent flier points
7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit?
6. Get rid of all those creepy "Richard Simmons Wants You" posters
5. Intelligence spy satellites may be used to watch television 24 hours a day
4. Superiors may now be addressed as "Dude"
3. Make it so every hand grenade has a creamy nougat center
2. Next mission: all-out invasion of Temptation Island
1. New slogan "Army of One" replaces "Hope You Like Scrubbing Latrines!"
Jokes Source: http://www.ahajokes.com
Let's take a look at another great Black Adder clip about World War I.
Part of any soldiers essential kit is the world famous Swiss Army knife. But have you seen the French version?
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Maybe a few of you have heard of the classic World War II comedy TV show "Hogan's Heroes"? Here is a classic taste of Sargent Schultz type comedy.
Military Common Sense Rules
A lot of life's problems can be explained by the U.S. Military and its applications of common sense ...
1. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
(Paul Rodriguez)
2. "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
(Army's magazine of preventive maintenance ).
3. "Aim towards the Enemy."
(Instruction printed on US M79 Rocket Launcher)
4. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
(U.S. Marine Corps)
5. Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
(U.S. Air Force)
6. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
(Infantry Journal)
7. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
(US Air Force Manual)
8. Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
(Gen. MacArthur)
9. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.
(Infantry Journal)
10. You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me.
(Marine Gunnery Sergeant)
11. Tracers work both ways.
(US Army Ordnance)
12. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
(Infantry Journal)
13. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
(US Navy Seaman)
14. Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
(David Hackworth)
15. If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.
(Infantry Journal)
16. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
(Joe Gay)
17. Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
(Admiral Hornblower)
18. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
(Unknown Marine Recruit)
19. Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
(Your Buddies)
20. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
(Army Platoon Sergeant)
Source: http://www.strategypage.com
Finally let's finish off with a couple more classic Black Adder clips.
And this one about how the war just does not seem to be advancing.
Don't shoot the messenger pigeon!
May the weekend bring you sweet victory in all of your battles!
Enjoy,
Big Passy Wasabi
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