Best. Fisting. Blog. Evah!

Ed Morrissey finds himself forced to go there:

I’ve received a lot of e-mail asking why I haven't written about the controversy over Kevin Jennings, Barack Obama's "safe schools" czar. To be honest, the story is so shocking that I haven't quite grasped how to approach it.

Ed includes YouTube audio of the infamous "FistGate" episode, where GLSEN activists discussed fisting methodology with 14-year-olds:

He also includes video of The Boss on Hannity:

And, finally, the infamous "stampeding toward the clitoris" scene from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life:

Instapundit makes note of the fact that a discussion of the Obama administration's Safe Schools Czar is NSFW. Think about that.

Via Memeorandum, with more commentary from Gateway Pundit, Stop The ACLU, The Lonely Conservative, And So it Goes in Shreveport, Real Barack Obama and Big Government

Oh, boy! 'Fistgate' on Fox!

Sean Hannity just announced that Michelle Malkin's going to be on after the commercial to talk about every middle-schooler's favorite subject!

Don't try this at home, kids!

UPDATE: The Boss gives big props to Gateway Pundit! Attagirl, Michelle!

UPDATE II: Michelle and Hannity made a point about the kind of sexually explicit stuff that is being pushed on kids in the name of "tolerance" -- you can't quote most of it on TV, or in a mainstream newspaper. And the advocates of "tolerance" know this.

If the average taxpayer or the average parent were to see the worst of this stuff, there would be a riot.. And if they understood the psychological influence of "comprehensive sexuality education" -- or saw what goes on in the classrooms where kids are taught this stuff -- they'd be urging that the instigators of such programs be fired. Ten years ago, I interviewed Wendy Shalit:

Her conflict with a sexually explicit culture actually began years earlier when, as a fourth-grader, her complaints about a sex-education class led her parents to request that she be excused from the classes. She spent those hours in the library.
"I was glad to be in the library, because the other girls got teased, and I would just pretend like I didn't know what they were talking about," she recalls. "And in a lot of cases, I didn't, and I was glad not to, frankly."
Sex education in public schools should be "completely abolished," Miss Shalit says. “At best, it's redundant, because kids do not learn the facts from sex education. They know it already."
But Miss Shalit also says sex education hurts girls -- "and boys, too" -- by eroding natural modesty. "The problem is that we have it so early now, we really don't allow people to develop their personalities before their sexual identity," she says.

Wendy's book is A Return to Modesty.

Fun Facts: 'Tuscaloosa' is a Creek Indian word meaning . . .?

If you said "excellence," you got that one right:

TUSCALOOSA, Ala. - Alabama students and faculty won't have to worry about missing class to attend the national title football game in Pasadena.
The university canceled classes from Jan. 6-8. . . .
The top-ranked Crimson Tide plays No. 2 Texas on Jan. 7 at the Rose Bowl.

And as I noted over at AmSpecBlog:

Insignificant schools like Harvard and Yale simply lack the kind of commitment to excellence necessary to becoming a genuinely first-class institution of higher learning.

Oh, everybody talks about GPAs and SATs and Ph.D.s, but the University of Alabama is the only place on earth where you can get advanced certification in MTTC: Made Tim Tebow Cry.

No Harvard boy can ever claim that . . . .

As my intellectual hero Larry the Cable Guy says, that's funny, I don't care who you are. Please hit the tip jar and send me to Pasadena so I can provide exclusive coverage of Alabama's expedition to the frontiers of educational excellence -- the kind of excellence that also happens to involve good-looking cheerleaders.

ROLL, TIDE, ROLL!

Don't try this at home, kids!

Before you shove your entire fist into an uncomfortable place, remember that this man is a professional educator:

Barack Obama’s Safe Schools Czar Kevin Jennings founded the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) in 1990. In 2007 Kevin Jennings was paid $273,573.96 as the executive director of GLSEN. Recently he was appointed by the Obama administration to run the Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools in the US Department of Education. . . .
If Gay Straight Alliances are not about sex, why are the people who run Gay Straight Alliances telling students about fisting? . . .

Read the whole thing. Of course, GLSEN was teaching 14-year-olds about fisting in 2000, before the full-fledged development of Internet porn videos made such educational efforts redundant.

Nowaday -- Progress! -- any teenager's curiosity can be satisfied by a simple Google search, provided they can spell the words right, that is. How much random traffic does First Things get from misspelled Google searches?

Schools should spend more time teaching kids how to spell and less time teaching them how to fornicate. When I was a teenager, we managed to figure out fornication without any help from professional educators. Well, not much help.

There was an English teacher at Douglas County High -- greetings, Ms. Dowd, wherever you are -- who left the school under a cloud of suspicion. Although I never learned the name of her alleged victim, I envied him nonetheless. I'd been in smitten with Ms. Dowd since she'd been my teacher in sixth grade, when she was fresh out of college.

She had long, straight hair and wore wire-rimmed "granny glasses," as they were called circa 1970. Her husband had been our fifth-grade English teacher and read aloud to our class Orwell's Animal Farm, explaining it as a metaphor for the Bolshevik Revolution. His wife attended our class for a few weeks while doing her student teaching. At the time, I never imagined that, a few years later, she'd be teaching high school and accused of improper association with a student.

Back then, such accusations were handled administratively and rarely resulted in criminal charges, so I have no way of knowing whether Ms. Dowd was innocent or guilty. However, she was one of the first teachers who ever saw me as anything other than an incorrigible discipline problem, and for that I am still grateful.

Speaking of gratitude, thanks to all those who have already pitched in to send me to Pasadena to cover Alabama in the Jan. 7 BCS championship game. Keep hitting the tip jar, folks.

And kids: Keep your hands (and fists) to yourself!